Final Goodbye

How do you pick up the pieces after all was said and done? How do you teach yourself to pick up those pointe shoes after leaving them neglected for so long? How do you teach yourself to dance like a madwoman again after desperately staying sane for 4 years? How do you dream again after a nightmare was introduced?

I have forgotten how.

I watched him pack his belongings while he was not looking. I watched him pile every inch of his memory in less than fifteen minutes. I listened to him whisper his heartless farewell to my dog. I held my breath for the last time, held back the tears but they escaped anyway. I stared blankly at the wall; anxiously waiting for him to finish, to change his mind, to suggest another chance at love.

But none came. He left me with nothing but a cold embrace, a kiss in the forehead and the harsh truth that he has stopped loving me. He left and the shadows came thereafter.

And I prayed again today, after a long time of silence. I prayed to God and begged Him to stay by my side until my wounds have healed. I dare not ask anything else.