Saturday, August 14, 2010

4 Years Ago

I remembered praying 4 years ago. I prayed that God will give him to me, prayed that whatever I will have with him will be blessed. And when God answered my prayer, I was happy. I finally found contentment, at least for a while. It wasn't too long when painful discoveries were uncovered. Those discoveries were so small, I can barely see them. They were so small that their sizes made me question their existence. They were so small that I never considered paying attention to their significance. Now, all those small, insignificant discoveries have created a monster.

A gun was cocked at my face for a long time and he was holding it. He, who danced his fingers on my body without care. He, who whispered uncouth words to put me in my place. He, who stashed me in a secret place somewhere so he can be with me whenever he felt like it. He, who never championed any of my wars. He, whose mind reeked of endless nights with a whore who did not know another woman's pain. He cocked the gun, pulled the trigger last night and ended what I prayed to God will last.

It is time to run again. Brace yourself, Den.