Why do I bother asking for favors when I can just simply finish the task on my own without anyone else's assistance? Why do I feel the urge to ask for support when I can complete what I needed to complete faster if I did it alone? Why do I ask when I know that I might get an outcome which might only irritate me? Why do I resort to begging in order to avoid the unavoidable "No" which, then, only makes me kick myself thereafter?
The answer --- I don't (specifically) know. Maybe sometimes I want to be reassured that I have friends. Maybe sometimes I want to lessen a not-so-heavy load out of laziness. Maybe sometimes I want to waste my time alongside someone who I wrongly thought would want her time wasted as well. Maybe sometimes I expect some minor 'returns' to minor favors I have given. Maybe. Just maybe.
Well, at least now I know better. If it's just me, I have only but myself to blame. And when it's just ourselves, we are usually more forgiving.
Remember this day --- this is the second time in your entire life that you asked for unnecessary favors, do you really want to lose another friend just because she, unexpectedly, said no??? Think about it.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
The Morning After
It is the day after another wreck. I watch her stand there like an idiot; her hands on her hips, wondering what the hell happened. Moments like these, I grab my camera and take photos of her with that frown on her face. I know then, that my eames chair girl is back. She was sober again or shall I say logical, and was in her right mind. I have about forty-three snapshots of her looking exactly like how I am describing her now. I guess that goes to show how many times she got drunk when she was pressured by her agents or how many times she was reported to the authorities by our neighbors or how many times I lie awake at night worrying and hating myself for falling helplessly in love with a woman who was as unpredictable as the weather and as unreliable as the news anchor in Channel 8. Worst, falling in love with a woman who does not know I exist. She does not even know my name. Sure, she knows she has a neighbor. In fact, she is quite aware she has neighbors since she has been reported countless times to the authorities by the same neighbors who complained of too much racket at her house. She does not know a thing about me. She does not even know I watch her. I do not know what she will do if she will learn about my stalking rituals.
She is sitting on her chair now, her small hands are clasped on her lap as she sadly stared at the stab marks on her favorite chair. She looked closer to check the damage and to hopefully find a clue to the culprit’s weapon only to discover the charcoal smudges on the sides. She shook her head and slapped her face several times before stopping. I almost heard her sigh. She traced the stab marks with the tips of her fingers and lovingly enclosed the ripped black leather together before wiping the skin clean with a daisy-scented sanitizer. She is careful not to cause further damage to her already damaged chair. In times like these, I wish I was that chair. I care not for the torture the day or night before, what mattered was the love I will be getting the next day when she was my Salome again. I am certain, that the lows of her momentary insanity will be compensated by the highs of being taken cared of her clear-headed disposition.
She is sitting on her chair now, her small hands are clasped on her lap as she sadly stared at the stab marks on her favorite chair. She looked closer to check the damage and to hopefully find a clue to the culprit’s weapon only to discover the charcoal smudges on the sides. She shook her head and slapped her face several times before stopping. I almost heard her sigh. She traced the stab marks with the tips of her fingers and lovingly enclosed the ripped black leather together before wiping the skin clean with a daisy-scented sanitizer. She is careful not to cause further damage to her already damaged chair. In times like these, I wish I was that chair. I care not for the torture the day or night before, what mattered was the love I will be getting the next day when she was my Salome again. I am certain, that the lows of her momentary insanity will be compensated by the highs of being taken cared of her clear-headed disposition.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Suck It Up
Ah it is finally dying. Not as quickly as I hoped though. I am so tired of hearing about the recent Sex Scandal. Who cares? Well, Okay I admit, I cared for like an hour or two but that was all and nothing more.
Here is what I can say to all the most interesting characters in this stupid play.
Boy Who Took The Video Secretly, you're a pervert! Whether you released those videos or not, your disgusting hobby of collecting videos of your unknowing sex partners is something that you should learn to get by without. Yes to revoking your license!
The Boy's Sugar Mommy, your brain is creased as your artificial face! What the hell were you thinking when you blurted out those cheap, senseless retort about "stealing someone's boyfriend"??? I am quite sure that all that education could have certainly taught you to handle the fiasco with a little tact (or shall I say taste) the least. Would not want our family to agonize over the waste.
Starlet On Fire. You are not as innocent as you say you are but I do agree with you that The Boy is a scum as he should have asked your permission first before taking that obscene video of the two of you. It was simply rude. Besides you would have agreed with it possibly if he so asked you nicely likened to the other 2-3 instances, right? Well now you know better.
Over-Acting Politician Supposed Knight In Shining Armour, shut up! Who are you trying to convince, us or yourself?
And to that tabloid reporter who poured water on The Boy (I still can't remember his name), can you try creating your own drama instead of forcing yourself in a drama which you obviously are not part of??? Talk about trying too hard.
Here is what I can say to all the most interesting characters in this stupid play.
Boy Who Took The Video Secretly, you're a pervert! Whether you released those videos or not, your disgusting hobby of collecting videos of your unknowing sex partners is something that you should learn to get by without. Yes to revoking your license!
The Boy's Sugar Mommy, your brain is creased as your artificial face! What the hell were you thinking when you blurted out those cheap, senseless retort about "stealing someone's boyfriend"??? I am quite sure that all that education could have certainly taught you to handle the fiasco with a little tact (or shall I say taste) the least. Would not want our family to agonize over the waste.
Starlet On Fire. You are not as innocent as you say you are but I do agree with you that The Boy is a scum as he should have asked your permission first before taking that obscene video of the two of you. It was simply rude. Besides you would have agreed with it possibly if he so asked you nicely likened to the other 2-3 instances, right? Well now you know better.
Over-Acting Politician Supposed Knight In Shining Armour, shut up! Who are you trying to convince, us or yourself?
And to that tabloid reporter who poured water on The Boy (I still can't remember his name), can you try creating your own drama instead of forcing yourself in a drama which you obviously are not part of??? Talk about trying too hard.
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