If Only

FB status on V-Day:

"my student, Sunsun, wanted to give me a sticker so he can get a kiss for Valentine's Day but he didn't have any to give other than the big heart with his name on it which he was wearing on his uniform, so he ripped the heart into two and gave me the other half...aws, so sweet --- now, who needs a boyfriend when you have students like him..."

and that was all I needed to end February 14 with a bang. Thank you, Lord God for children who never fail to remind me of Your goodness.

I Love My Family

I didn't have the fairytale childhood but I say I had the best. I didn't have the perfect family but we love each other no matter what other people assume. I love the strength of my father's silence and work ethics. I adore my mother's amazing ability to always get back on her feet and her unique mothering skills. I am proud of my brother's choices and his fearless declaration of his faith. I am blessed to have a sister who never plants hatred in her heart and who took every blow with a smile. I am Cynthia and Danny's daughter, Fort and Danna's baby sister; and I tell you now, I wouldn't change anything.

Letting Go

When fighting has become a cliche and there is no means to save what you have tried saving. Give it up and hand it over to God. When you have held His hand, you'll realize that there's no other hand you want to hold again.

Remember, you are stronger with Him by your side.

Do Not Falter

Do not be disheartened when people doubt your commitment because even Christ Jesus suffered the same..."And they were offended in him. But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house. And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief - Matthew 13:57-58"

I Declare

I love you, Lord God.

Not My Usual Letter

Ma, I know that I have not been a good daughter most times and I have also let my anger get in the way when I lash out on you with harsh, hurtful words. I am sorry if I have hurt you. I promise to bite my tongue and try harder next time. No, you are not dreaming Ma...it is really happening---I am apologizing. Hahaha.

(Mama's response)

Hi Den. It's okay. I actually understand and love you even if you think I had been remiss in so many ways. Deep in me, I have always wanted only the best in all of you. I love you. I'm a mother first and foremost, over and above my needs and wants. I will never turn my back from any of you no matter what. Just forgive me in my 'kapabayaan' and for whatever I did in the past. Just know I have always wanted all of you to be at peace and happy with whatever your line in life would be. Take care and thank you.

(And then I cried.)

Happy Birthday, Den!

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest - Joshua 1:9

An Evening Prayer

If I have wounded any soul today,
If I have caused one foot to go astray,
If I have walked in my own willful way,
Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have uttered idle words or vain,
If I have turned aside from want or pain,
Lest I myself shall suffer through the strain,
Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have been perverse or hard, or cold,
If I have longed for shelter in Thy fold,
When Thou hast given me some fort to hold,
Dear Lord, forgive!

Forgive the sins I have confessed to Thee;
Forgive the secret sins I do not see;
O guide me, watch over me and my keeper be,
Dear Lord, Amen.

There is

There is no starting over.
There is only that scar on your left cheek,
there to let the band know that a fool approaches
so they can play their music.

There is no room for love.
There is only that word they call survival,
there to remind you that you have two legs
so to keep you upright.

There is no kindness in empty words.
There is only that harsh truth
there to let you lick your wounds while you hide in one corner
candy-coated for your convenience.

There is, however, a million memories that you can recreate
for a moment's peace
recreate that kiss,
that instance when your hands first touched,
that silence shared after a stolen glance.

That is all there is
before you go back to weaving dreams for children you have learned to call your own.